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I Don’t Want a Divorce: A 90 Day Guide to Saving Your Marriage


I Don’t Want a Divorce: A 90 Day Guide to Saving Your Marriage

When a marriage reaches the point where the “D” word is tossed about like a hand grenade, it is hard to imagine that it can be saved, even though there are hundreds of books and programs that promise to do just that. The problem is that the efforts are usually one-sided; seldom do you see a couple in crisis calmly selecting a book on how to save their marriage. Yet, it has been Dr. David Clarke’s experience that even the most hopeless of situations can be turned around with proper guidance and faith.

I DON’T WANT A DIVORCE is actually two guides in one. The first section is for couples who recognize that there are problems in their marriage and agree to work on them together. These problems can be a result of lost passion, arguments over children and finances that never get resolved, or some continuing sin. Dr. Clarke calls this “Dead Marriage Walking.”

The second section is for those who have a spouse who is unwilling to change. Although the author refers to the unmovable “Stick” as the husband, it could just as easily be the wife. It is the partner who is content to maintain the status quo even though the status is miserable. Dr. Clarke writes: “Well, you married a Stick and now you’re stuck.” Yikes, not very compassionate there, Doc. But hold on. While Chapters 2 through 13 are loaded with wonderful ideas and exercises to help couples recover from a sickly marriage, it is in the latter chapters that the most difficult work gets done...when one of the partners is not willing to help.

Unlike many well-meaning Christian counselors, Dr. Clarke does not recommend that a woman married to a Stick stay stuck. He does not advise her to be submissive and to continue loving the Stick until he realizes the error of his ways and turns into a wonderful man of God. Instead, Dr. Clarke reveals the true nature of the Stick, and it is not pretty. The Stick can be emotionally abusive, selfish and a poor excuse for a father. And he will never change unless he has to.

Whether you are reading this book because you are married to a Stick or want to help someone who is, I DON’T WANT A DIVORCE will help you get to the very root of the problem and provide you with answers that you may never have thought of or been given by most Christian counselors. Direct and daring, Dr. Clarke clearly empowers the wife to wage the final battle for her marriage. He cites Biblical methods for confrontation and outlines the steps she needs to take. They are not easy steps, but unless the Stick has no redeeming qualities left in him, there are bound to be some changes from the status quo.

I DON’T WANT A DIVORCE is not the average “take two Scriptures and call me in the morning” Christian self-help guide. It is an exciting opportunity for those who have “tried everything” to get some real and lasting help.


Reviewed by Maggie Harding on November 13, 2011

I Don’t Want a Divorce: A 90 Day Guide to Saving Your Marriage
Dr. David Clarke, with Dr. William G. Clarke

  • Publication Date: September 1, 2009
  • Genres: Christian, Marriage
  • Paperback: 277 pages
  • Publisher: Revell
  • ISBN-10: 0800734017
  • ISBN-13: 9780800734015